The Hat: An Unexpected Birthday Tradition

WALTER creative director Laura Wall reflects on her favorite celebratory accessory: a wildly decorated cowboy hat.
by Laura Wall

When I was in my late 40s, my sister-in-law Sara presented me with a large shopping bag. “You’re next,” she said, laughing. I peeked inside and discovered a dark brown cowboy hat. It was decorated with random objects — artificial blue flowers, noisemakers, glitter-covered berries, butterflies and an extralong, acid-green boa. “Wow! What is this for?” I asked, surprised.

Sara explained that her friend Barbara had given it to their mutual friend Tiffany on her 50th, then each of their five book club friends had worn the hat on their birthdays. Every person who wore it added an embellishment before passing it along.

I have always been a little extra, so I was fully on board with this crazy tradition. The night of my party, I put on a little black dress, birthday sash, 50-shaped bedazzled glasses and the hat.

And, you know what? It was magical.

As the headdress and my entourage made appearances all over Durham — from Mateo to the 21c Museum Hotel to the Waffle House — everyone we ran into wished me a happy birthday and complimented me on my glorious accessory. I felt empowered and fun.

When it was time to add my bit to the hat, I took off my special 50-shaped glasses and superglued them to the front.

Since then, I’ve shared the hat with at least 10 more girlfriends. Most were happy to take up the baton. A few of my more introverted friends were initially apprehensive, but they eventually could not resist its remarkable charm and spirit.

And all sorts of items have been added to the hat’s brim that reflect its wearers: my English friend Justine added a plastic figurine of Queen Elizabeth and her corgi. Robin added a bird in a nest, complete with a mini wine bottle and glass. Simone added a tennis ball. But my favorite addition may be from Caroline, who added a tiny version of Henry David Thoreau’s Friendship and Other Essays to its crown.

I think that little book sums up this tradition: it’s amazing to celebrate this milestone with friends, knowing that others have been there and more are yet to come.