News you can use: A waterfront for downtown and a heated commission meeting this week.
by Chat GPT and Walter Weekly staff
Please note that these are April fools jokes, not real news items.
Recent Commission Meeting Comes to Blows over Midtown’s New Name
The Raleigh Rezoning Commission adjourned abruptly after an altercation broke out over the renaming of the Midtown area. Advocates of the Wegtown moniker, favored by lower Midtown residents, clashed with Kaneberg supporters, most of whom live in upper Midtown. The discussion will resume next month.
Water Powered Historic Mills Recommissioned
In an effort to provide more clean energy for Raleigh’s growing population, a number of historic mills and dams will be recommissioned to accommodate hydroelectric generators.Lassiter Mill in North Hills, Yates. Mill off Lake Wheeler Road, the Company Mill in Umstead State Park and the Milburnie Dam on the Neuse River are among those slated for use.
Waterfront Coming to Downtown
Raleigh is finally getting what many long believed was missing: a waterfront. This week, the city council approved plans to dig up portions of West and South Saunders Streets to widen and connect the Pigeon House Branch creek all the way from Crabtree Creek to Rocky Branch. The extension will run under the train tracks near Union Station, with a pedestrian bridge providing safe passage and a new vantage point of the city skyline.
…just kidding, none of this is real! April fools! Read more in Walter Weekly.
This article originally appeared in the April 2023 issue of WALTER magazine